By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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