Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it glows. i had to have it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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