Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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