Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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