ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
