i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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