Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
