Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
