Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
