My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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