I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
