But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
