my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
