If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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