she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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