the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize