We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
