Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize