Umm I'm too high to move.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We're too hungover to prance.
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