Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
