My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
