my mouth tastes like poor choices
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
