Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
