Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
