All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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