glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
