She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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