could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
