Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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