she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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