so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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