I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
