Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
