Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
