She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
