I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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