nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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