please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
