I'm laying in your front yard are you home
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
