Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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