I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
