did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
