Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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