i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
