Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize