Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
