Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
