Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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