I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
