i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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