There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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