I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
