So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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