Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
