Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
