No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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