this boner is exhausting
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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