how can u be prego again
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
