I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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