Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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