got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
